Ten

I sat down multiple times yesterday and tried to write this post.  I'm not sure why I am having such a hard time with it, but I am.  Jane turned ten yesterday.  Ten.  That's a big number.  And it's a little number, too.  It's a milestone for her and for me.  A whole decade of life.  Double digits.  And the realization that I have spent ten years being a mother.  It doesn't feel like a long time.  Say "ten years" aloud, though, and, yes, it is a long time.

I was twenty-eight when she was born.  And we had wanted a baby for awhile.  She was born four weeks early and was tiny.  Four pounds, thirteen ounces tiny.  Looking back, I had no idea how small she was.  I had no clue that the people around me were worried about her (and me, with pre-eclampsia).  I wasn't concerned a bit - just over the moon to have this little girl in my life.

She is still charming me daily, ten years later.  It's been an amazing journey full of laughs and tears and I feel that it has really just begun.  But at the same time, I am aware (so so aware) that she will fly out of our nest in less time than she has been in it.  That makes my heart skip a beat.  The years go by so fast - I want to hold on tightly and not let her go.  But I am also excited to see the young lady that she is growing into.  I know that she is going to be an amazingly wonderful person.

At ten, Jane is sensitive and kind.  She is friendly and social.  She likes talking to anyone about anything.  She is a talented artist and a wonderful performer.  She was super excited about her new guitar - I have a feeling they will be a very good match.  She loves to read and loves to draw.  She plays soccer and likes swimming, but has no interest in basketball.  She is dramatic.  All. The. Time.  She bugs her sister, but counts Kate among her best friends.  She has a winning smile and beautiful eyes.  She has her own ideas about fashion, still detests the color pink and her favorite shoes are red Converse high tops.  She is sweet to little kids (a future babysitter for sure) and wishes Scout would sleep on her bed.  She got her ears pierced on her birthday and amazed herself (and me) by not crying.  I have a feeling that she's going to keep amazing both of us for years to come.

Happy Birthday, Jane.  I can't wait to see you in another ten years.  I have no doubt that I will be just as proud of you then as I am now.