April 7 014_1_1

Yesterday I never got to my want-to list.

It was a bad parenting afternoon.  The kind where they aren't cooperating with me and I am letting them know it and it does none of us any good.  I was in a pitiful state by the end of the day and most of it was my own doing.  I feel like I am failing my daughters, that they need more from me, but I don't know how to give it, or more precisely, what exactly to give.

Sometimes I worry that I give the impression that it's all bright and shiny here, that there are always pretty things to look at and that I have no worries.  I admit that I put my best face on when I am in this space.  I try to keep a positive outlook here because negative thinking really gets me nowhere.  Well, nowhere good, that is.  Life is life, however – there are ups and downs, good days and bad.  And I am not exempt.  I have my struggles, too.

Today is my good thing is that it is a new day.  I get to start fresh.  I can focus on my children and try to parent them in a way that works for all of us.  It's a have-to and a want-to – top of the list in both categories.  If I can end the day on a good note, with everyone cared for and happy, I'll call it a success.  If not, I'll try again tomorrow.  And again the day after that.

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