Yesterday I never got to my want-to list.
It was a bad parenting afternoon. The kind where they aren't cooperating with me and I am letting them know it and it does none of us any good. I was in a pitiful state by the end of the day and most of it was my own doing. I feel like I am failing my daughters, that they need more from me, but I don't know how to give it, or more precisely, what exactly to give.
Sometimes I worry that I give the impression that it's all bright and shiny here, that there are always pretty things to look at and that I have no worries. I admit that I put my best face on when I am in this space. I try to keep a positive outlook here because negative thinking really gets me nowhere. Well, nowhere good, that is. Life is life, however – there are ups and downs, good days and bad. And I am not exempt. I have my struggles, too.
Today is my good thing is that it is a new day. I get to start fresh. I can focus on my children and try to parent them in a way that works for all of us. It's a have-to and a want-to – top of the list in both categories. If I can end the day on a good note, with everyone cared for and happy, I'll call it a success. If not, I'll try again tomorrow. And again the day after that.