Posts in Things About Me
On Mother's Day

I wrote this post five years ago for my friend Lecia's blog. Today I'm bringing it home. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.

Derby 014_1_1

My mother gave me thick hair and blue eyes, fair skin and freckles. She taught me to write my name and how to bake. She made me a reader and lover of books. She passed on her appreciation for collections and started a few of mine. She gave me her sense of colors and taught me how high to hang a picture. She drove me to soccer practices and swim meets and paid for lessons of all sorts. She taught me good table manners just in case I was invited to eat at the White House. She let me have the yellow carpet in my room when she really wanted the green. She bought me the Izod shirts and Tretorn sneakers but would never let me have clogs. She made braided ribbon barrettes for my hair and bought me beads for friendship pins. She always makes sure there is an apple pie on Thanksgiving because it’s my favorite. She took me skiing at age 3 and pretty much every year after that. She drove me to college and didn’t cry until she was on her way home. She kissed my scraped knees and wiped away my tears. She cooked my favorite meal on my birthdays. She bought me my first sewing machine. She still has a sweater I knit her although it is really way too big. She was there when I gave birth to my babies. She trusts my judgment although she sometimes disagrees. She is sensitive and thoughtful, kind and caring, generous and gracious. She is beautiful inside and out. She supports me. She has loved me every day for the last 38 years. And I know it. I always have.

I hope my kids know I feel the same way about them. Because I gave them thick hair, blue eyes and freckles. I correct their spelling and make them hold their pencils correctly. I let them stay up reading because they love their books. I let them crack the eggs and measure the flour. I add to their bottle cap collections. I encourage them to draw and then hang up their drawings. I sit through volleyball practices and watch their swim meets. I tell them to chew with their mouths closed and to put their napkins on their laps. I’m repainting their rooms because they want a change. I let them wear clogs. I have pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving because that is their favorite. I kiss scrapes and wipe away tears, too. I take them skiing. I cried when they left kindergarten, but didn’t let them see me. I go to California Pizza Kitchen and Red Robin on their birthdays because that is what they choose. I rethread the toy sewing machine 15 times in 20 minutes. I keep all their love notes. I want to be there when they have their babies. I respect their differences although I sometimes don’t understand. I have loved them from the moment they were born.

Being a mother is a precious gift. I feel blessed to have learned from the best.

April 3 024_1_1

You still have time to make this gift. And it is (mostly) free.

A friend of mine recently emailed Fatty with a link to this video about moms and their kids (go watch - it's amazing). She then asked his help to make a video of my girls telling me why they are thankful for me and why they love me.

 

People, this is quite possibly the best gift I have ever received.

Not only was it incredibly thoughtful, but it's a great reminder that even though I sometimes doubt my success as a mother (who doesn't?), my kids don't see me that way. It was something I needed to hear and the bonus is that I will always have it to look back at. I am so thankful for this.

Why don't you do this for someone you love? Your spouse, the grandparents, a friend, teachers....the list goes on. All it takes is a little time, a little technology (iphone, ipod touch, ipad, computer, video camera) and you can send it via email Christmas morning or put it on a CD/DVD to send in the mail. If you have technologically savvy kids, like mine, they can probably do it all on their own with a little direction from you. Heck, if you have extra time, you could even make a movie out of it. No matter how you do it, it will be treasured.

Like I said, possibly the best gift I have ever received. Well, besides the kids themselves. They are pretty damn great.

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My children gave me their permission to post this video on the blog. Please respect our wishes that it not be uploaded anywhere else. Do not pin this video to pinterest, share it on facebook or the like. I appreciate your understanding - thank you.

 

I lost my words

Mom's orchids

I lost my words.

I am not sure how it happened, but it did. And when they disappeared, I barely noticed. But now, sitting a greater distance away, it's clear that they are missing. I'm not sure if after pouring so much into a book, I just didn't feel the need to say anything else. Maybe. More likely, it was not sharing much of anything while I intently focused on those 208 pages that made me clam up a bit. Regardless, the words stopped.

I find it curious, though, that while I am doing a dismal job of documenting my daily life (a photo a day is often a chore and there are no words on the 365 any longer, either) and a mediocre job at sharing my creative work (garments that have been sewn- and worn!-  and not blogged as well as the weekly oil painting), I still form the sentences in my head. The words are floating around in there, looking for a place to land. And that backlog of sentences and paragraphs that need writing down are cramping my creative muscles. Because, let's face it, the majority of my thinking is focused on my kids, my husband, our household, feeding everyone, cleaning up after everyone, procuring and doing the things that make up daily life. When there is space and time for creative thinking, it is best for me if that little sliver of mental bandwidth I have leftover is clear and ready for use. I need to shake out what is in there and move forward.

All of this is a very long-winded way of saying that the words are coming. They may be jumbled and messy or short and sweet, but I plan on letting them out as they come. Lucky for me, I have been asked to join the party that is habit in December. One photo, 30 words or less. And, for me, a jump start - a way to let the words out, just a little at a time. I'd love it if you'd visit me and the other guests over there this month. I think the sum of all those daily bits of all those women's lives is powerful and a bit magical, too.

Things About Me Comments
Taking Stock

Two days into the new year and I feel like I need to look back a bit. 2012 was a good year for me - a really good year, in many ways.

I started off the year with a word as my focus: make. It was about making time, making memories, making choices, making things, making friends, making food, making a home. And while it was not at the forefront of my mind at all times, I do feel that it was the guiding, and sometimes driving, force by which I lived in 2012.

As the year got underway, I felt like I needed a purpose other than being a wife and mother. I needed something for me, something to do, something to focus on. I said that bit out loud, to Fatty and a few friends, and the universe listened. An opportunity presented itself shortly thereafter and it felt right.

We tackled some long and overdue projects around our house. Rooms and woodwork were painted, light fixtures swapped out, wainscoting installed, carpet removed, the basement and garage trashed out. I admit it kind of snowballed, one project turning into another. In the end, though, I feel like this house we have lived in for 7+ years is finally feeling like us. 2013 will see more painting, more carpet removing, more organizing and less stuff.

We traveled. Some trips included the kids and extended family, others were just the two of us, one was by myself. We like to go places, see new things, eat and drink our way through cities. Many of my favorite memories of the year were made during our travels. Meeting friends I have "known" for years because of this blog and hanging out with our loved ones invigorates me. Still, I like home best. And I know that to be grounded, I need to be here more than anywhere else. I'm glad I finally realized that.

Sewing-wise, there were a couple completed quilts and two quilt tops that are waiting to be basted and finished. I sewed some clothes for myself and the girls. I finished a dress I started in the fall of 2011 and it has become a favorite. I finished a sweater that was started around the same time as the dress and I don't love it. Granny square fever struck in the summer. As with every year, there were some real winners craft-wise, and some real losers. Many of them not blogged. It's my intent to go back and chronicle some of these in the next month - stay tuned. I also took a one-night painting class with a group of girlfriends. Immediately, I knew I needed to get back to art. It felt good to play with paint and I wondered why I had ever stopped. Top of my list for 2013 is more art, both sketching and painting. I'm also continuing to focus on moving my body every day. It became abundantly clear that exercise, like making, is crucial to my mental well-being.

I made a definitive effort this past year to be present with my family when I am with them. This involved me saying no to some opportunities and leaving work to weekday school hours. I don't regret it one bit. My days had structure and I was very aware of what could be done in the number of hours I had. I think it helped me get beyond my procrastinating ways, as well. In the end, these girls are only home for a limited number of years and I am lucky that I get to spend a good part of my day with them. I want to be able to look back and know that I did everything I could for them and with them while I have the chance.

I'm in the throes of documenting our days from the last year using Project Life. I had started out 2012 strong and steady, but stopped sometime in April. This is one project I don't want to let go so I am back at it, halfway through August at this point. I will be continuing for 2013, too. With my fifth year of 365 under my belt, I have developed a strong habit of taking photos every day and I can't imagine not doing that. Recording these moments helps cement the memories. This is really important to me and the girls love looking back. So do I.

So, onward! I'm happy to be in 2013, feet firmly planted where I stand with lots of room to continue to grow. At 41 years old, I feel like I am finally settling into my own skin, my own being in ways that have escaped me previously. Kind of exciting, if you ask me.

January peonies

Best $6 I've spent recently and some rambling thoughts

 

August 19

I snatched these flowers at the farmer's market last Saturday morning. They are still going strong and are the best smile-inducers now that the kids are back in school.
I think I lost my blogging mojo this summer. I'm sure you have guessed that already. No big news, right? But, I'm not finished blogging or going to throw in the towel yet. I think I just needed an old fashioned break and without realizing it, I took one.
I've been in this space for six years now. Six years! And when I think about what my life was like then, with two little kids who needed more immediate attention and more constant watching, I wonder how the heck I did it. Seriously. How did I find the time to be here 5 days a week with something to say? Now with the kids older, needing less watching, but more of my driving time and much, much more of moral support, I find that I don't have the kind of time that I think I need to be here. And that's the catch...I don't really need a ton of time to stop in and share a little tidbit. It doesn't have to be a huge, finished project that gets me to take photos, sit down and write. I used to share the little things, the progress of projects, small works in progress, stacks of fabric, photos of my day. I used to be more spontaneous about it all. I'd like to go back there and I'm going to try to.
I'm not going to promise posts 5 days a week. That's kind of unlikely right now. But I'm dipping my toes back in slowly. I have some finished things to share. And some unfinished things, too. I have a couple of great books to tell you about and some online craft courses to share (complete with giveaways!). I've got advice to ask about stocking the freezer for school lunches. I might just post some photos if I feel like it. Maybe I'll tell you about the cleanse I've been doing for the past couple of weeks. Or maybe not. Who knows?
So, hi. I'm Erin. Nice to see you again.
New York Spoils

Bluewhite

Scrap pack

Perlecotton

Marimekko

Nano iro2

We are home from New York.

It was a good, long, exhausting and fun week. We saw Tara and Tim twice - the perfect bookends to a week in Manhattan where we shopped, walked, shopped, ate, walked, drank, ate, drank, walked, shopped our way through Manhattan. Did I mention the eating and drinking and shopping?

All of the above came from Purl Soho with the exception of the dandelion fabric. That's from Marimekko (on sale!). The second photo is actually a scrap pack. I saw it when I walked in the store and thought about it the whole time I was there. The fabrics are not necessarily ones that I'd be drawn to on their own, but together like that? Yes. Please. And thank you, too. I scooped up the other blues and whites to go along. I know exactly what I am going to make and if I have the time, I will start it today. The green? Well, of course, I had to have that.

Now, home, I'm feeling incredibly spoiled. I have loving in-laws that take my kids so that Fatty and I can run away for a week together every summer. I have a husband who is more than a husband - he's my best friend and partner in crime. He makes me laugh and knows that if my blood sugar gets too low, it's not pretty. He holds my hand as we walk down the street and sits patiently while I spend hours looking at textiles and trying on clothes at Anthropologie. It is such a blessing to have that time alone, to be able to manage a vacation each year, to feel completely in love for the last eighteen years. I don't ever want to take that for granted. I feel incredibly blessed.

And the girls? I missed them just the right amount - not too much and not too little. We are hanging out today, running errands and doing other everyday life things like laundry and cooking. I've already referee-ed one fight and I'm sure it won't be the last. I'm slowly bringing them back to our world of limited television and healthier eating. Most of the time, I have the best job. I wouldn't change it for the world. Those girls - an equally big blessing.

Inspiring me today

Spring 3

Spring 4

Spring 2

Spring 1

Early spring.

Crisp Tiffany blue, shades of sky, petal pale pink with a pop of bright.

Green beads and patent shoes.

Warm, very warm, weather.

Loads of sunshine.

Mexican dinners eaten outside.

Open windows for a cross breeze and cool sleeping.

Books before bed and Vosges Goji bars.