This morning, after the kids were at school and I had walked the dog, I started bread dough.

There was a time not so long ago, but also not in the recent past, when Fatty declared that I needed to bake more bread. Mind you, this was not a declaration of his love of freshly baked bread, although I think he does enjoy it. Nor was it a testament to my baking skills - he doesn't like a lot of sweets.  He said that I am happier when I am baking bread.

Truth be told, I was taken aback. It's not that I don't like to bake - I do find it very enjoyable, although my waistline does not. I just didn't see it. I didn't see the happier when baking scenario. But his words weighed on my mind, and still sometimes do. Bread? Really? After awhile of pondering how baking bread could possibly be making me happier, I had the revelation. The bread baking was just another way of making. It was the making that was producing happiness.

I need to make.

So today because I had things that I had to do while the kids were at school and I knew that after they were home, I would not have time, I did my making early. I mixed the water with the yeast and the salt and slowly stirred in the flour. I let rise on the counter for 3 hours before baking a loaf for dinner. We ate it with soup and it was delicious.

The making does not happen everyday. I don't want you to think that my life is perfect and each day goes swimmingly. This is not the case. Life happens here, too. But when those little pockets of time appear, I grab them. I might sew, I might crochet, I might simply make dinner. My making doesn't need to be a huge project, although sometimes that is really nice. A few stitches in fabric does wonders for my outlook and puts a smile on my face. What I require is some ingredients or materials, a little time and my hands. With just those things, I can make.

And it's knowing that I need the making that is making all the difference.

Kate turns 10 this coming Saturday.

Ten years old.

We celebrated this milestone with her friends on Monday. Ten girls, ten hula hoops, yards and yards of duct tape and electrical tape, pleasant 70 degree weather, lots of giggling and screaming, running around and rolling in the grass. I think they had fun. It looked like they were, at least. She wanted a rainbow cake - that was her only request. If you could have seen the look on those girls' faces when I cut the first slice. The awe and surprise was amazing. It made me look like a superhero of a mom when all it really took was some food coloring. What they don't know, won't hurt them.

On Kate's actual birthday, I'm running my first half marathon. I remember the first time I thought that I might just want to run that far. It was New Year's Eve 2001 - Kate was 6 weeks old, Jane was 2. Someone asked me what resolutions I had for the coming year. I said to run the half marathon. I didn't end up doing it - I could barely find the time to sleep, let alone run enough to train. Really, what was I thinking? But for 10 years, more or less, that thought has been in the back of my mind. I trained for a different half marathon three years ago, but didn't end up running it. It wasn't meant to be then and, until recently, I wasn't sure it would ever happen.

At the beginning of the summer, I saw a sign advertising a half marathon in November. I mentioned it to Fatty and friends, all of whom are cyclists or runners or both, and they encouraged me. With the promise of beer, I convinced one in particular to coach me (Thank you, Michael. I couldn't have gotten this far without you). I've been training since August. I have run short distances and many miles. People (you know who you are) have helped me along the way and I am grateful to have them in my life, pushing me, running with me, believing in me, cheering me on.

Saturday. 13.1 miles. I'm nervous and little bit scared. But I'm ready.

It only took me 10 years.

Yesterday was a parenting fail. I feel like acknowledging that because I don't want you to think it's all rainbows and sunshine here. I'm human, after all. And I know that we all have those days. Well, I know that I do. And if you don't, then please tell me your secret. I could use some help from time to time.

My biggest hope is that the girls don't remember every single moment I fail them. I certainly don't remember those times when my parents mucked it up. And along that line of thinking, maybe seeing me lose it with them from time to time will teach my kids that we all have our moments, good and bad. And as we make our way through these pre-teen and teen years, it'd be good for me to remember this lesson of empathy, too.

At the end of the day, I had this quilt square. I sewed it while they were at day camp. It's huge - 24" - and the first of nine. The pattern is Swoon by Camille Roskelley. All of the fabric is from my stash and the white is Kona Snow.

If all else fails? I hope my kids remember that I made them things. And that I did all of it, good and bad, the praising and the yelling, because I love them so much. Surely they will know that.

I had a milestone birthday on Sunday. And as much as some people might not relish those larger, even numbers, I think this one is pretty dang great.  I'm still beaming from all the goodness and processing everything that happened this past weekend. Fatty threw me a lovely party and Rachel was in town for it. While I knew about the party, they (I'm including you, Caroline and Marcia!) managed to surprise me with some unexpected guests. It was wonderful to see Alicia and Heather again so soon after our weekend this past winter. And I think my eyes may have popped out of my head when Leslie walked through my door! It was such an unexpected treat to meet her after being friends for so many years. I'm humbled and flabbergasted that these ladies traveled so far to celebrate with me. It was the icing on the cake, so to speak, and my only regret is that we didn't get to spend more time together. Oh! And that I didn't take more pictures. Regardless, I am so grateful for their friendships and all of my other family and friends who made turning forty even sweeter than I could have imagined. I feel blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful people.

The auction is tomorrow and if you would have asked me three days ago how I felt about it, I would have predicted that I'd be well finished by now. If you would have asked me two hours ago, you would have heard nothing but panic. And right now, a little less panic. There is still some work to do. This is how it goes. It will all get done, it will all be good, maybe even great, and I will rest on Sunday.

I had a haircut on the calendar for this morning and I did manage to squeeze that in. I've been dreaming about getting a summer cut once the weather gets warmer. I took a good long look in the mirror this morning and decided that my long-ish hair wasn't doing me any favors. In fact, it was weighing me down. I didn't really plan on cutting it until April, but when I sat in the stylist's chair this morning, on a whim I told her to chop it off.

Three to four inches shorter and I automatically felt lighter.  I'm so glad I did not wait for summer to get my summer cut.

I hope the weekend treats us all well. And that each of you has a moment to do something nice for yourself. I promise to take photos of all the auction projects I can to share next week. See you then.

The auction is tomorrow and if you would have asked me three days ago how I felt about it, I would have predicted that I'd be well finished by now. If you would have asked me two hours ago, you would have heard nothing but panic. And right now, a little less panic. There is still some work to do. This is how it goes. It will all get done, it will all be good, maybe even great, and I will rest on Sunday.

I had a haircut on the calendar for this morning and I did manage to squeeze that in. I've been dreaming about getting a summer cut once the weather gets warmer. I took a good long look in the mirror this morning and decided that my long-ish hair wasn't doing me any favors. In fact, it was weighing me down. I didn't really plan on cutting it until April, but when I sat in the stylist's chair this morning, on a whim I told her to chop it off.

Three to four inches shorter and I automatically felt lighter.  I'm so glad I did not wait for summer to get my summer cut.

I hope the weekend treats us all well. And that each of you has a moment to do something nice for yourself. I promise to take photos of all the auction projects I can to share next week. See you then.

See. Life isn't always so calm.

We had a super busy weekend - a two day swim meet and piano recital plus our company holiday party. Can you say tired? Actually, that doesn't quite cover it. Exhausted is more like it. Sunday night I went to bed at 7:45 p.m. and didn't get up until 6:30 Monday morning. Just shy of 11 hours. Crazy, huh?

Monday was a snow day for the kids.  A pathetic - we had one inch of snow - day.  Considering our weekend, it was nice to have little on the agenda, but it is the last week that the kids are in school before the holiday break.  Losing a day kind of pinched my schedule.  I didn't get to quilting the one handmade gift yesterday.  I did manage to finish the quilting today, but everything shifted a day down the week and tomorrow the stuff on the agenda can't shift.  I found myself agitated and yelling at the kids.  Fatty saw it too - told me I didn't seem myself.  I hate this.

And then I uploaded my photos from the last two days and I saw calm in them.

I made a list, put my laundry away, went through the mail and neatened up the girls' rooms.  Then I walked the dog and celebrated Tuesday with Fatty and a bottle of champagne.  And then came to the understanding that I won't make any other progress on the gift wrapping and card addressing and quilt binding until Thursday.

I'm going to be ok with that.  I've made it 14 days into December without feeling a moment of this stress and that, my friends, is an incredible achievement for me.  So, yes.  I'm ok with a bit a stress because tomorrow the calm returns.  Until then, take care.

******

There are still a handful of camera straps available in my shop.  Orders must be placed by Monday, December 20th in order to arrive by Christmas in the U.S.  You can get 15% off by using the code CALM when you check out.

See. Life isn't always so calm.

We had a super busy weekend - a two day swim meet and piano recital plus our company holiday party. Can you say tired? Actually, that doesn't quite cover it. Exhausted is more like it. Sunday night I went to bed at 7:45 p.m. and didn't get up until 6:30 Monday morning. Just shy of 11 hours. Crazy, huh?

Monday was a snow day for the kids.  A pathetic - we had one inch of snow - day.  Considering our weekend, it was nice to have little on the agenda, but it is the last week that the kids are in school before the holiday break.  Losing a day kind of pinched my schedule.  I didn't get to quilting the one handmade gift yesterday.  I did manage to finish the quilting today, but everything shifted a day down the week and tomorrow the stuff on the agenda can't shift.  I found myself agitated and yelling at the kids.  Fatty saw it too - told me I didn't seem myself.  I hate this.

And then I uploaded my photos from the last two days and I saw calm in them.

I made a list, put my laundry away, went through the mail and neatened up the girls' rooms.  Then I walked the dog and celebrated Tuesday with Fatty and a bottle of champagne.  And then came to the understanding that I won't make any other progress on the gift wrapping and card addressing and quilt binding until Thursday.

I'm going to be ok with that.  I've made it 14 days into December without feeling a moment of this stress and that, my friends, is an incredible achievement for me.  So, yes.  I'm ok with a bit a stress because tomorrow the calm returns.  Until then, take care.

******

There are still a handful of camera straps available in my shop.  Orders must be placed by Monday, December 20th in order to arrive by Christmas in the U.S.  You can get 15% off by using the code CALM when you check out.