…sometimes just don’t work out.
I decided on this weekend that I will not be running the half marathon on Saturday.
I really haven’t talked much about my running on the blog because it’s a craft blog, you know. But I need to write this so I get some closure for myself. Feel free to move on if you want. My feelings will not be hurt.
I wouldn’t call myself a runner. I’m not hard core. Really. Prior to February, I had never more than four miles. And I only ran for exercise, three times a week at most. I had thought about running a half marathon when Kate was an infant, but I couldn’t string together 8 hours of sleep let alone time to train for a long distance run. With Kate in kindergarten this past fall, I found myself running 3 miles at a time and still having time to get the grocery shopping, errands, laundry, etc., into the course of the girls’ school day. I finally had the time. I also had the inspiration.
So I found a good training schedule, consulted the calendar, plotted my courses and I ran. I ran in the sun and more often in the rain. I ran in layers to combat the winter cold and in a tank top and shorts in 80 degree Florida heat. I ran outside if I could and on the treadmill the three times the snow wouldn’t let me (torture, really, I can’t stand the treadmill). I bought new shoes, orthopedic inserts and more running clothes than I wanted to. And I cross-trained too.
I ran three races: a 5k, a 10k and a 10 mile. These are the only races I have ever run and they went well. But before the 10 mile race, my left calf was tight – it took 3.5 miles for it to loosen up, but then felt fine. The race was good – I finished 50 seconds over my goal. My leg hurt for a couple of days, but then felt good. I kept training, but the calf issue resurfaced after every longer run. Lots of stretches, lots of ice and lots of ibuprofen later, it is still an issue. I have gone out four times to run in the last week. Three of those times I had to turn around and walk home after less than a half mile. I think my body is trying to tell me something.
I am sad that I am not running on Saturday. I have worked really hard for more than three months just to run this race and giving it up is a huge disappointment. I have cried over it. Many times. I am trying hard to look on the bright side of things. I can give my spot to a friend who didn’t register before the race closed. I ran in the rain and the cold and I liked it. Of course, it was better in the sun and the warmth. I ran three races and they were great. I stuck to a schedule and increased my distance. I never had my normal mid-winter funk and I give all the credit for that to exercise. And although I only lost 3 pounds, my jeans fit better. My muffin top is smaller. That has got to count for something, right?
I have the best people in my life. Thank you Fatty for encouraging and supporting me. Thank you Flickr friends for cheering me on. Thank you Susan for training virtually with me. Thank you Marcia for being my ride. Thank you Suzanne for watching my girls and being at the finish line. Thank you to my family for checking on me and wishing me luck. Thank you to my friends for listening to me go on and on about it. I know I bored you to tears and you still listened. I am blessed to have you all.
I’m not over the disappointment. I’m pretty sure there are more tears. But I know I made the right decision. Tendinitis in my wrist is all the injury I can deal with right now. There are more half marathons out there – I might even try to run one in the fall. Or maybe I will wait until next year. Right now I would be happy with a nice, pain-free five mile run. That in itself is a positive thing. I would have never thought I would look forward, let alone WANT, to run five miles.
I guess I am a runner after all.