I spent a good chunk of time in the kitchen this weekend baking. Banana bread using the three over-ripe bananas no one would eat. Chocolate chip cookies for comfort, baking 16 cookies and freezing the remainder of the dough. And two loaves of sourdough bread from the starter I began earlier in the week. It was all absolutely necessary to keep myself busy – hands-on tasks that required timing and attention. It was all unnecessary as well – we do not need a kitchen full of baked goods, although no one is complaining.
I know I am not alone when I say I am feeling very fraught. I had moments this weekend where I felt good and happy and productive. Then something small would happen – the yarn I was winding got tangled, the bread dough stuck to the dish cloth, the dishwasher wasn’t run – and my frustration level would skyrocket. Seemingly small, annoying things that I usually would let slide threw me into a (self-contained) hissy fit. And then I would be angry with myself for reacting so fiercely, for not being able to handle the situation with more grace. In the same moment, I logically understand that what we are all experiencing is difficult and scary. No wonder my mood can change in an instant.
I see it in my girls, too. Kate is a high school senior, missing all those year-end, traditional events. Right now she is definitely out until May 4th, but her last school day is supposed to be May 6th. She won’t be going back. The IB tests were cancelled – so disappointing after two years of hard work as a IB student. Her graduation is up in the air. She is worried that she’ll start college online, at home, missing that freshman experience. Jane is home from Colorado, three-quarters of the way through her sophomore year of college and feeling robbed of her friends. At her school, they take one class at a time for three and a half weeks and the one she has now is an archival history class where they were supposed to go on field trips to look at the primary documents. Instead, they are meeting via Zoom every day. She is not enjoying the experience and is missing the in-person interaction with her classmates and professor. She is supposed to study abroad in the fall and has convinced herself that it won’t happen.
I don’t know what to tell these girls except that we are all disappointed right now. Collectively, as a world. And that it is ok to be disappointed and angry and sad. I am all those things, too. I am trying not to project too far in the future – maybe just a week or ten days ahead. Easier said than done, but really important I think. We don’t know what will happen. We don’t know when the isolation will end. There is a lot to be happy about, thought. We do have each other and all the streaming movies and TV we can consume. There are books to read, projects to make, things to bake. The weather has been nice and we can be outside. Maybe if we focus on the positive, the rest will seem less scary? I sure hope so.
I just reread everything that I have written and I thought about deleting it all. I don’t want to come off as negative. I am, however, feeling all the feelings this morning and I don’t want to pretend that I am not. Along those lines, I found this article helpful. Maybe you will, too? “That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief”
Hey there! For those of you going to QuiltCon, I will have a book signing for Make Your Own Medallion at the Lucky Spool booth TOMORROW (Thursday, February 22nd) at 1:30 pm. Come by and say hello! I will be walking the floor on Thursday and Friday with Fatty (yes,...read more
As I was thinking about what order to showcase the quilts from my new book, Make Your Own Medallion, it seemed fitting to start at the beginning. Studio Window started as a 12'' block that I drew with a pencil and ruler on a piece of copy paper. After I had finished...read more
My newest book, Make Your Own Medallion: Mix and Match Borders to Build Your Quilt from the Center Out, is available now. This book has been a long time coming and I am beyond thrilled that it is finally out in the world for you all to hold, see and use. The idea for...read more
I looked up this week and it is January. How did that happen? December whizzed on by like no one's business. Logically, I know that this is how it works. That time between Thanksgiving and the new year is jam-packed with holiday things, end-of-year things, school...read more
Have I mentioned that I teach eighth graders to sew? I do! I go in once a week in the fall and the spring and, along with a friend, teach a group of 12 or so kids how to use a sewing machine. We start simple and work up to some more difficult projects. This fall, our...read more
Although it saddens me to part with it, I will be destashing a large quantity of Anna Maria Horner and Denyse Schmidt fabrics this afternoon. The fabrics will be in bundles as there is far too much to list individually. There will be more than enough in each bundle to...read more
Hey there! I have so much to share with you all. I arrived home Monday from Quilt Market in Houston (and finally got to hold my book in my hands!!!) and am slowly getting myself back into the groove this week. I have spent a total of 30 minutes in the studio, making a...read more
For the past few years, I have made and donated a quilt or three to our church and school's summer picnic. To win one of these quilts, you buy a chance on a wheel. When all of the chances on the wheel are sold, the wheel is spun and the winner gets to choose the quilt...read more
Oh, September. It seems like you just started. I had good intentions to be back in this space weeks ago, because in my mind, Labor Day marks the end of summer. Never mind that summer officially ends tomorrow or that, for us, it ended mid-August when the girls started...read more
A few weeks ago, my copy of The Fussy Cut Sampler by Nichole Ramirez and Elisabeth Woo arrived on my doorstep. It is such a beautiful book with 48 great quilt blocks that made me want to cut up some fabric right away. Nichole and Elisabeth walk the reader through all...read more